recently.

It's a late night post. I'm wondering how could I have the blogging mood at night, some more tomorrow is still schooling. Perhaps I've been long time didn't come for update my blog or miss it or wanna share something here? Yeah maybe. So, how's you guys doing? I uh, busy life as well. Gym, tuition, homework and koku have occupy my time. I know it's exhausted but I quite enjoy my life, it's good if you don't have any free time to be slacking around or think some negative stuff that could ruin my day. 

So yeah, I'm form 5 student in this year, time flies. I hope I can take licence soonest possible since I'm not willing to make lots of trouble for my family. Guess what, I'll feel guilty when I called to my dad for fetching me to anywhere, although he's busying with his work.. And more over, I'm super duper not willing to beg my brother for bring me anywhere. The feeling is suck when he's trying to tell that I'm bringing trouble for him or i'm the one who disrupt his plan, yea it's frustrating and irritating. I just so much envy those who have elder brother/sister that being nice and caring to them, but unfortunately, I've no, such tragedy. Most of this time I've been thinking is it I'm not that important to them? They can even forget and ignore me sometimes. It's sad. Whenever they said how bad he is, but lastly? They also will help him with those good words and the problem will infinite unsolvable. Seriously, I don't know how to release my emotional and feeling. Why they couldn't understand my feeling, I'm just a girl who need caring from family. It's even harder when I'm trying to control myself just don't let the tears drop off. I feel insecure. I smiled I laughed in front of them, but who feels me? No one. I'm just so tired to pretend it and put fake smile on, and cry after this.  "What hurts you today, makes you stronger tomorrow' I'm gonna turning 17 soon, should not be naive anymore, be mature thinking, and think of my future. Goodnight and sleep tight!